One of those days.
Ever have one? One of those days where your insecurities are flaring and you feel like a flag flapping in the wind, every gust snapping you back and forth with a crack that hurts? Yeah, me too. Today is one.
And I’m not sure what to do about it. I know all of the things I should do: go outside, exercise, avoid the bag of Cheetos I am eating by the handful, pray, check something off of my to-do list, read my Bible to remember who God says I am. But, BLAH! I’m in a funk and I’m stubborn and those all sound like the right thing to do and I try to be good and right so much of the time.
I’m not feeling it. And now I’m supposed to tell you that feelings shouldn’t dictate us, we must push past them with actions. Fake it ‘til you make it, right? Again, still not feeling it.
So that’s all, a hard day. We’re all allowed to have one. I want permission to be in mine. As long as I don’t spew on others, but am maybe just quiet for a bit. It’s okay to have one of those days.
And it’s right here stuck in my own misery that I am indeed able to push through it like the bitter cold outside. That’s right, I woke up this morning to eleven degrees below zero. Bitter, biting cold that hurt when I took Gab to school. My nose stung, my toes with their wool socks and waterproof, fleece-lined boots lost feeling and I thought about all of the people in our city who have no choice but to take the bus. One painfully cold, somewhat dangerous kind of day for them. And then an email from a friend who wasn’t having one of those days, she’s having one of those years, well decades actually.
And my perspective shifts a bit.
Not because I’m doing the formula for feeling better about life, but I pause enough to recognize someone else’s circumstances. It’s those darn other humans who aren’t trying to cheer me up, but are living their humble everyday lives that push me toward gratitude. And I remember it’s a pretty good life to have one of those days only once in a while.