I was first introduced to the Bravermans in Season 2. Working for a mothering organization I figured it was important to be up on a major network show called Parenthood. As I sat on the sofa, my legs curled around me, my own kids tucked into bed, I wondered how I’d let an entire season slip past me before watching the stories of this family unfold. Parenthood was doing what art is meant to do; it was reflecting life. More specifically, my life. Albeit it in a television-with-commercials-major-network kind of way. But it captured the lives of people I knew in the throes of parenting. It placed a value on family without (most of) the sap expected of a show on family.

And now 4 seasons later “Our show”, as Derek and I refer to it, is ending. When I heard this would be the final season, I was struck by the hole it would leave in the pop culture, television world. Because of the show’s portrayal of family, more specifically marriage.

What other show today conveys marriage in quite the same way? From sitcoms where the husband is usually typecast the relational buffoon, to other dramas where romantic relationships are typically left to the exciting dating lives of characters who are not in the settled down phase, marriage is often portrayed as something to be tolerated or avoided. Where else will marriage be showcased as something to want rather than dread? Where its everydayness is the place of romance and conflict and resolution? Where marriage is the setting and the context for the stories?

We the fans have watched through many marital conflicts and with each relational showdown Derek has asked me the same question, “Whose side are you on?” And I almost always answer, “It’s complicated.” Because what the show has captured best of all is the nuance of conflict in committed relationships. The hurt that leads to further hurt. Where both parties are in the wrong. The layered responsibility and mistakes that can move a conversation from loving to hurtful and back again. And how that back again is worth it and doesn’t involve magic perfection, but a willingness to apologize and start over.

Julia and Joel’s struggles the last few seasons have left me running for the Kleenex box many nights. Though their near divorce was the most dramatic of the marriage conflicts, all of the Braverman couples faced challenges. Collectively they’ve offered the viewer a menu of trials from which to relate. From cancer diagnosis, to job loss, parenting a child with special needs, to living in a bi-racial marriage, from infidelity to adoption to depression to starting a business. From surprise pregnancies to sobriety to home improvement projects, the everyday drama is what drew me, and so many others like me, into the Bravermans’ storylines. Theirs was a reflection of my world. And so I felt a kinship, as though they were my people, and I wanted to cheer them all on. I wanted, no I needed (in an over-involved viewer kind of way) for Joel and Julia to pull through.

I’ve seen Facebook posts the last week about missing the Bravermans. It’s a bit pathetic to admit that I will miss these television characters, but I will. It seems fitting the last episode is titled May God Bless and Keep You Always and features a wedding (with Ray Romano no less. A total bonus when he joined in season 4.)

Though the show was titled Parenthood, the real winner in this series was marriage.