I have four children. When one of them is upset she can make a ruckus. A loud, whiny, complainy ruckus. And when there is a clashing of ideas of how things should go or did go, often many voices speak at once. There is so much noise I can’t hear the truth. And the one that is the loudest, or sometimes the most obnoxious, gets my ear. That loud voice is the one that demands my attention. Whether it is the closest version of the truth or not.
I was reminded of something this week. As I had some online conversations, I heard assumptions that surprised me about the Church. About reactions people have and motives of hurt. In these back and forths I was reminded not everyone thinks of the Church as I do. When I use Church with a capital “C”, I am referring not to buildings, but to a collection of people. Christians, everywhere. People who claim Jesus was God in human form on this earth allowing us a reconciliation with our Creator.
When I think of the Church, I have good feelings. Safe feelings. I have surrounded myself with people who interpret the Scriptures to point toward mercy and empathy. People who are stumbling along and clinging to the hope that is found in God’s offering of new life.
These are humble men and women. They feed the hungry, visit the sick and welcome me back into their presence every time. They are not loud voices on the internet. They put their heads down in prayer and in service. They do their work for God who sees them in their silence. They love because God is love and they serve God. Their voice is often but a whisper in our cultural dialogue.
Because this is my experience of the Church, when I think of Christians, those people who follow Father, Son and Holy Spirit, words come to mind. They are words like welcoming, compassionate, generous.
I was reminded this week that those aren’t the words that many associate with the Church. It’s more of the angry, judgy, nasty sort. I understand why. Those voices are often the ones that get the attention, certainly in the media. They are the loudest gongs. And they go for the shocking, sometimes offensive. They are polarizing.
I tend to dismiss these voices. As extreme, fundamentalist even. Where rules take precedent over relationships. I consider their approach of shooting daggers with words or actions far from the Jesus I know. Jesus who always says, Come.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” -Jesus
I forget when these voices throw a ruckus and say their words in the name of Jesus, to listeners they are connecting themselves to me. In my mind there is a difference. But in yours friend, it may all be the same.
I have heard many statistics about abortion in our country. Most recently 1 in 3 women will have one in her lifetime. I know a lot of women. Beautiful, strong, brave, surviving women. If you are my friend and you are reading this, than yes I am talking to you. If this statistic is true, many of you have had abortions. The thing is, I just don’t know which of you have. Because you haven’t told me. A few have shared this part of your story, but certainly not a third of you.
Which is fine. I don’t need to know everything about your past or current life to know I care about you and you are brave. If you haven’t told me this detail because it’s private and you haven’t felt like it, we can end this conversation here. Check your email, move on to YouTube, close your laptop. Done.
However, if you’ve wanted to tell me this sliver of your journey however significant or insignificant it has felt, and haven’t because you were afraid I wasn’t safe, especially because of my faith, I owe you an apology. A big one. Because I have failed you as a friend.
I have failed to be the louder voice. The one I know of the Church I experience. Of humility, acceptance and certainly the one of forgiveness over judgment. I have let voices that clang and work well in sound bites and debates win over Come.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Jesus
Every day I come and lay my burdens down. That is what I know the people of the Church to do. A laying and relaying. A coming and recoming. We are not sterile, perfect people. Far from it. We stumble toward Jesus when he says Come, and we rest in him.
Friend, if this sounds like a different kind of Church, a different kind of Christian, than the one you have experienced I am sorry I have not been louder. But that’s the thing, Jesus calls us to be humble and serve out of love not out of attention seeking. So my quiet friends have faithfully been living their lives and you have not known. I hope you have experienced a sliver of that love they live from. That I do my best to live from. May we have a gentle, quiet, humble conversation about this if you’d like. You are always welcome in my circle. Come.
Alex, this is beautiful. Thank you for your words – many people need this message. Practicing the idea of “come and rest.” So important!
Annie, you are one of the faithful I know in real life. The work for justice in the name of Jesus women. Thank you for being the Church to me.
Wow! This is BEAUTIFUL!!! Thank you so much. I know both sides of Christianity – I have personally experienced both. I am an ardent fan and follower of Jesus, but have a deep ingrained resentment toward the name “Christian” because of the people I have encountered and the damage done to me and to many others by people that call themselves by that term. I have also been genuinely loved and compassionately cared for by people who don’t go by that name or any other name. When you call yourself a certain thing, it means to align yourself with something. To call yourself a Christian SHOULD be to align yourself with the person of Jesus, but in America it has instead become an alignment with a certain group of people who support a certain group of ideals that frankly, I just don’t support. Jesus always seemed to align himself with the lost, the hurting and the broken over the religious. Again, I know amazing, caring, loving people that call themselves Christians, but I also feel like I know too many people that are the opposite to want to align myself with that name. I want to be aligned with Jesus, not necessarily with his followers. But this post is beautiful!
Thank you for your comment Robin. I am truly sorry you have been hurt. As I was writing I was thinking about Jesus on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” I am one of the they he speaks of. We all are. The problem with the Church is it’s made up of people who fall short. Our fall shortedness shows up in different ways. Some is more evident. Some is probably more damaging to others. I ask for God’s mercy in every step.
Aleksandra, it is ironic, but I think all in God’s plan, that almost every church I have ever gone to or been involved in has been incredibly destructive – so much so that none of them are around anymore, or are barely surviving or have had major (sometimes multiple) leadership changes. What it has taught me is that just because a group calls themselves a church and claims to believe the Bible doesn’t make them healthy, or actually following the blueprint God set out for us. But God is still God, however, and no matter what humans do, no matter how badly they bungle things up, God is still victorious.
What this means, however, is that I can be the bridge. I have grown up in churches, I speak the lingo, but I also understand the damage and destruction that churches and religious organizations can cause, and so I also have empathy for those that can’t connect to God through a church. I feel like my God-given role in life is to help those that have been damaged by churches and religious organizations to simply connect with God all on their own. I think the point is not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Contrary to what churches seem determined to make people believe, the Institution that we think of as being a Church in America is not actually what Jesus was talking about when he talked about his Bride, and it is NOT actually necessary for one to connect with God. Churches are great, and I have no beef with them, but I also understand all to well how they can actually become a greater obstacle to some people connecting with God than actually facilitating that connection. And, for many, they DO in fact do just that. We all have our different roles, I feel like mine is to minister to those who have been hurt and damaged by churches.
But I am so glad there are people like you still being a light in the darkness from WITHIN the church, to reach those that CAN be helped by what the Church has to offer!
This really touched me as well because I am one of those who think of Christianity as “those who fundamentally judge others.” I don’t consider myself to be religious at all, specifically for those reasons, because I feel that I have no right to judge another’s decisions and from what I see in the news, all over social media, everywhere, that’s all those who call themselves “Religious” do. I, however, absolutely am spiritual, which I would define as religious without all the BS. I have no questions as to if there is a higher power out there. Do I think he looks like a dignified Santa Claus? No. I think He is an energy of love and light and happiness. I pray to Him like most people would pray to God as defined in the Bible, and He still is my God but not in the sense that most would view Him. I think that my God is against anger and hatred. And I think that the Bible was written with good intentions but that has become so construed, and in the end, it was written by MAN. Flawed, confused, arrogant man. And now, like many people I know, I bulk those who call themselves religious as having nothing to do with love, but rather only having to do with judgmental assumptions. This article was enlightening. We are on the same plane. Give love, be grateful and happy and see the miracles in everyday. I’m there with you.
Sharaya, I think we have a lot in common. I also don’t consider myself “religious”, I follow Jesus the best way I know how and that puts me in the “Christian” category. I also don’t think he looks like Santa Claus ;). I joke, but I know what you mean, he is not here to fulfill my wish list. The Bible certainly is one of those mysteries. What it highlights to me is how God has throughout history used PEOPLE to do his work when he could have chosen any other way. More than anything I’m grateful you said this was enlightening. May we see each other and understand each other better and not let the loud gongs drown us out. Thank you for your comment.
So beautifully said. Well done.
Thank you. It always means a lot coming from you.
Thank you, Alex and friends. I bet if we could have this kind of humble, self-reflective conversation more often there would be a lot more peace and love in the world, but as you mentioned, polarizing reports of the lunatic fringe sell.
“When I think of the Church, I have good feelings. Safe feelings. I have surrounded myself with people who interpret the Scriptures to point toward mercy and empathy. People who are stumbling along and clinging to the hope that is found in God’s offering of new life.” I love that.
And as chief of stumblers and bumblers at your church, I am so happy you feel that way. But I’ve also been “that guy” — the well-meaning but clueless #@%! who hurts people. It pains me to think of how I may have set people back and become an obstacle rather than the kind of bridge Robin mentioned. From pulpit to pews, our church is inhabited by people with issues, wounds, ample blind spots, good intentions gone wrong, and loss. Sunday’s sermon will be called, “Jesus is for Losers (people who’ve lost stuff)”.
But here’s a head-scratcher: We all want a church where imperfect people are welcome, flaws and all, right? If so, should it surprise us when people in the church act like the flawed people they are? If the church is a place that welcomes hurting people…and if hurt people hurt people…and if we’re all hurt people…shouldn’t we budget for disappointment along the way? Isn’t that what marriage is? What friendship and family are? It’s what my marriage and family and friendships are. If I am merciful, it’s because I know that very soon I will once again need mercy. God help us all.
Anyway, great post. I’m really proud of you.